Fuckin Fish

"But you are the pre flop aggressor Keenan. Keep betting and they have to fold"

Yeah right. The fundamental mistake of giving micro stakes villains credit for any sort of logical thought process made me more of a fuckin retard than them. At this stage I was down $2k lifetime playing online tournys on Stars over 3 years. It was starting to dawn on me that I had to realise I was the fuckin fish or spend several more years falling behind the curve and never giving myself a proper crack at getting any good. I had to sort out my ego, sort out my mentality and sort out the pish graph I had to look at every time I dared to search myself on sharkscope.

I came up with the idea of a 3 way deal between a friend (Rob) to stake me for micro/low mtt's and for CJ (swansfc_cj) to coach me on the side. I knew both through the PES scene when it was a full blown addicition for many.

For those of you who know who Rob is, will also know he likes to work hard and play even harder. His general poker these days consisted of shot taking big online events, degenning 5/10 hu plo, wrapping a jumper round his head blind drunk playing 5/10 at the Wynn casino, and terrorising his local 1/2 game, because he can buy in 300bb deep and not even have to scratch his arse at the thought.

CJ on the other hand has never worked a full time job. He went straight out of school and started playing poker at the local casinos in small stake tournaments and transitioned to playing micro mtt's on Pokerstars. Fast forward to present and he was busy ballin it up at mid stakes mtt's, playing scoops wcoops and any other woopdey woop baller tournament series that was going. and never having to give a fuck about getting up at 7 in the morning like the rest of "us"

I thought the odds of both of them agreeing would be around 20%, akin to Kings beating Aces and that only happens in the fuckin movies, or you happen to be Jason Mercier, Elky or Durrrr spiking them 2 outers on the turn like its no big deal to run so far ahead of expectation you wonder how anyone loses at such an easy game.

Naturally because I'm a lovable Scottish cunt both agreed to take me on. Out of belief, sorrow or sympathy I really didn't give a fuck at the time. I had a baller willing to back me and an up and comer in the online tourny scene willing to rip me for 3betting 94suited out the small blind.

Poker is thus an act of force to compel our enemy to do our will

Ricky's Facebook status this morning reads

"Poker is...."

Those of us who invest much of our lives into this godforsaken game probably haven't taken too much time to think of what Poker is.

We load up clients and reg from lunchtime to night time, spending hour after hour trying to collect as many chips as possible betting, raising, folding, calling, bluffing, flushing, jamming, overbetting, floating, sucking out and trying to get people to put their chips in drawing dead with no miracle cards left in the deck.

We use every weapon available to us in order to make the best decisions possible to try and defeat every last opponent who decides to pit his skillset, cards and position against us.

The Prussian solidier and miltary theorist Carl von Clausewitz wrote in the 1832 treatise 'On War'

"War is thus an act of force to compel our enemy to do our will."

So what is Poker to me?

Poker is war