Drowning in Rhythm

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This is what stares back at me every weekday.
It's hard to tell who's playing the Sadist at times.
I can dance with them however I please.
But this it isn't the true partner I have in mind.

My true partner moves in multiples of 4.
To remove me from the reality of the existence my actions have conspired to surround me in.
I feel compelled to lose myself in the experience of what is happening inside my head.
Sometimes for only minutes at a time, sometimes for hours on end.

1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4

Experimentation instead of regimentation is the norm.
My head starts moving with the flow, almost against my will.
But my will is the DJ's will.
Employer isn't a word in this world.